Really bad flu (Again)

Will there be more to come this year? This time the fever totally knocked me off for one whole day. Felt chills, but my skin was hot. Took Dimetapp and slept. Woke up feeling, how do I describe this, reborn? Seems like what happened before, good and bad does not matter. Will this be permanent (yay!). That was an exaggeration. But, I felt really strange from this one. Was it cause by that nasty antibiotics?! Finished Cefradox 500 Cefradoxil 500 today.

1971 in 2005

Two third of 2005. I have let myself be in this position. Don't quite understand where things are or was that an affirmative of non exclusivity. If so, I am struggling to understand and believe that there is a reason to all this. Otherwise, it is just too cruel. Of one, which could probably be an experience to build wisdom. Zombielike fronts a physic in grief, of going through moments of hurt, of anger, of embarrassment, of fear, of depression, sometimes denial, and back. Acceptance seem like it has arrived as moments of happiness were felt, only to realize that it actually hasn't, when one of the six came back again. There were a lot of advice from loved ones. Some of hope, of which an instance of happiness was immediately felt. Some of lost hope and moving on. These are the ones that all seem harsh but I know they mean well. One day when this all becomes indifferent to me I know I can look back and have a good laugh of how silly this period has been. But, one thing for sure, may it be to hear from or not to hear from.. this is not easy.